If I were to ask the question “Should men and women be equal”, almost everyone here would say yes, right? Because the culture of gender equality has been widely accepted. However, despite the general acknowledgement of this culture, I should say that gender equality oftentimes remains a luxury: everyone loves it, few own it.

 

In what position am I to complain about gender inequality when you have a young woman representing China right here? Well, that just gives me more reason to do so. Because while this woman gets to stand on the international stage making this speech, there are many more women who can’t even finish high school. In China, only 50% of women over 25 have finished high school, with men it is over 70%. In rural areas, the situation is even worse. While some young men enjoy higher education at fancy colleges, their sisters are often toiling in substandard factories. Many parents are marrying their daughters off to raise money for their sons’ weddings. The saddest thing is that even women themselves are often prejudiced against women. It is not rare for pregnant women to choose gender-selective abortions, not rare at all that mothers value their sons more than daughters.

 

Luckily, I am an only child in an urban family. I grew up being taught that the world could be my oyster, and that gender should never prevent me from pursuing my dreams. And look where I made it to today! In China, there are more lucky ones like me. For example, we have as many female Olympic gold medalists as male ones. We have the tennis queen Li Na, the first and only Grand Slam singles champion from Asia. But behind this rosy picture, is the cream of Chinese women, so to speak, enjoying real equality?

 

After Li Na married her lesser-known coach, the most frequently asked question for the poor man was no longer about tennis, but rather, “Are you happy in your marriage?” People readily accept that behind every successful man there is a woman, yet when the roles are reversed, we don’t seem to be all that comfortable.

 

Still, today, we remain shackled by the longstanding stereotype that women are the weaker of the species, subordinate to men. Has any of the male audience here ever been encouraged to set your life’s goal as becoming the next first husband? A Mr Angela Merkel, anyone? Well, my cousin’s high school music teacher happens to be the schoolmate of the current first lady of China, and her standard way of encouraging the girls was “Well done! You could become the next first lady!”

 

The thing is, she is by no means the only one with this mentality. Today, many Chinese parents, even those who openly advocate gender equality, still see it as a major priority to have their daughters marry a good man. It’s like Mrs Bennet in Pride and Prejudice all over again! A woman should work hard because her man needs a competent wife to keep the house. A woman should enter a top university because a diploma of which is seen as a proof of good genes. A woman should be beautiful, and if not enough, go for cosmetic surgery, because physical beauty appeals to men. Becoming the spouse of a successful man seems to be the utmost achievement for a woman.

 

I am not sure if the situation in the western world is better, but I do find that docile Disney princesses are often portrayed as lovable, while powerful queens are painted as evil. Joss Whedon, the famous screenwriter of The Avengers, was asked by a reporter why he liked to create strong female characters. His answer was “Because you are still asking me this question.” One strong female character in real life, Hillary Clinton, was once asked about “The ultimate hard choice - grandmother or the first female US president?” She replied, “There have been a lot of grandfathers who have done it.”

 

Why can’t women have it all if men can? If all the world’s a stage, I look forward to the day when all the men and women can comfortably choose whichever role they wish to play. I look forward to the day when every woman has what Virginia Woolf calls “a room of her own”, when the culture of gender equality finally becomes as basic a necessity in our lives as, say, Earl Grey, when a woman’s utmost achievement is becoming not the first lady, but just a lady with her own identity. It would then be a day of joyous celebration for everyone.